"I wonder how long it's been since Suzu missed a class. At least a good few months, I think."

"Carefully scheduled naps, along with her meds, allow her to drag her feet to class every morning. Even if she sometimes doesn't quite last out the whole day, she makes damned sure she's at least present and accounted for."

"But that's Suzu all over; she tries hard at every little thing she does. I've no doubt that it makes me look a lot worse in comparison, though to be fair, I've been skipping class pretty rarely in the last year."

"Mutou drones on with yet another lecture, but even as we scrawl in our notebooks, it's obvious people's minds are elsewhere. It's the last day of the semester, after all. I can't help but glance over at the empty desk beside mine every now and again, as if she might suddenly be there the next time I look."

"Why she's missing is hardly a mystery. I get a knot in my stomach just thinking about how it happened, and it must no doubt be much worse for her. Suzu might be stubborn as a mule, but even she has her breaking point."

"I barely even register the bell signalling the start of lunch, only beginning to shuffle out of the classroom as I see the other students moving past me."

"Filing into the hallway with those who'd rather escape the stuffy room rather than chat and eat at their desks, the thought of what I should eat floats vaguely into my mind. Bread, I suppose. Cheap, and I could easily force it down."

"A hand grabs my shoulder, gentle, but firm. I turn to face its owner, but I know who it is without even looking."

his "Hey."

"His expression, a thoughtful but carefully rehearsed cheerfulness, is the norm for him. It drops the moment he sees my face, the dots all too easy to connect."

his "Are you okay?"

mik "I'm fine, I just... didn't get much sleep last night."

"I scrunch up my face and pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to pull myself together. This is the result of just one night's bad sleeping; I can't imagine the kind of sleep deprivation Suzu must feel every day."

"As I look back at Hisao, I can see he wants to say something but doesn't quite have the will to do so. He's a nice enough person, but the way he so often visibly thinks things over before speaking irritates me."

mik "What is it?"

his "...Come with me."

# timeskip

"The cafeteria is humming with activity already, but the two of us thankfully managed to score a free table by getting in before the rush."

"While Hisao farts around getting food for the both of us, I try to work out what he knows, and what he doesn't."

"I wouldn't call him an idiot, but Hisao isn't particularly sharp when it comes to others. That said, he and Suzu have been around each other a fair bit lately. Not that she's the talkative type anyway, even with her friends."

"He's far from the assertive type, too, yet dragged me here of his own accord. There's no doubt about it; The way Hisao's acting today is out of character. I shouldn't be so immediately suspicious, but..."

his "Here."

"He sits a juice box and a large piece of bread in a wrapper on the table in front of me. Mangling the thin plastic before finally getting it open with my hand and teeth as he takes a seat, I shovel the bland-tasting bread into my mouth for simple nourishment."

"I hadn't realised just how hungry I'd gotten, the food almost evaporating as I take mouthful after mouthful."

"Looking to Hisao, he's stopped as he was about to start on his own, instead opting to watch me pigging out. Whether it's in amusement or startlement, I can't say."

"I rip off a large chunk of bread before forcefully swallowing it and setting the rest down, my curiosity getting the better of my hunger."

mik "So, what'd you drag me all the way here for?"

his "I was just wondering if you knew why Suzu wasn't in class today. And why you're in such a state, now that I've seen you."

"I take a long breath as I think back to when it all happened. I have to tell him, as much for my sake as his."

"I quickly glance around me to make sure nobody's listening in."

mik "Can you promise not to tell anybody about this?"

his "I promise."

"Anyone would say that. I believe Hisao more than most, though."

mik "Suzu..."

mik "Suzu confessed to me yesterday."

"He lets out a long, drawn-out breath, almost seeming to deflate as he sits back and stares at the table ahead of him. It takes him a while to formulate a response beyond scratching the back of his head. I can't blame him."

his "I wouldn't have picked it. The fact that she..."

mik "Yeah. I didn't know either."

"We both sit in silence for a bit to mull over our interactions with her. Sure, she never came out to either of us, but she's a private person about practically everything. She's distrustful of others, too, though not without reason."

"It's impossible to work out whether she was dropping hints, or actively trying to hide it. Let alone whether she was hiding it because she feared our reactions, was worried about word getting out, or was simply confused herself."

"In any case, she never told me, and obviously didn't tell Hisao. She doesn't talk with anybody beyond us, so the next question is how long did she keep this bottled up inside of her?"

"Hisao is the first to speak, breaking my train of thought."

his "How did you react?"

mik "I... I guess I didn't."

his "Huh?"

mik "I just mumbled how we should get back to school, and the two of us walked back. That's all that happened."

his "Miki..."

mik "I was confused, alright!?"

mik "I had no idea that was coming! I didn't even know she-!"

"Hisao quickly waves his hand downwards to make me lower my volume. I quickly do so."

mik "I didn't even know she liked girls, man. We've been friends for over a year, and I never had a bloody clue."

mik "I thought things were going well, and now everything's completely messed up..."

"Here I was thinking I'd managed to keep my emotions under control, but even as I speak, I can feel a lump forming in my throat. It's one thing to mull all this over in my head, but saying it to someone else is a lot harder."

mik "What am I meant to do?"

his "To be honest, I'm not really sure. You do need to answer her, at least."

his "Please don't take this the wrong way, but: are you scared of giving her an answer because you're confused about your feelings, or because you don't want to hurt Suzu by rejecting her?"

mik "The first."

"He gives a nod, satisfied with the answer."

his "I guess being the same gender does make that harder. It's not really a position I'd want to be in."

mik "It's not really that. How should I put this... there's a difference between getting off on that kind of stuff, and a relationship."

mik "I mean, I like looking at girls as well as guys. I can appreciate a girl's body, you know? But that's pretty different to this."

mik "I'd a lot less freaked out if it was anybody but Suzu, to be honest. It's like everything I knew just got turned upside down."

"I think to myself about what I'd just said. I think I'm happy with that explanation. Hisao nods as though he understands, but that's only half the story."

"Why would Suzu be interested in me, after all? So she's into girls, sure. A surprise, but plenty of people out there are. Why me, though? She isn't like Hisao; she's known me at my worst, not just as I am now."

"It's just baffling on every level."

his "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be much help with this. I don't envy you, that's for sure."

his "But in a way... what you're saying makes me kind of glad."

mik "I'm glad someone's happy."

his "It's just good that you're thinking this through. I don't think it's controversial that you can be pretty rash sometimes."

mik "Prick."

"We both smile, deciding to move on. He's not wrong that he'll be of little help in my decision, but just getting this off my chest has helped a lot. With the shock wearing off, it's easier to think clearly about everything."

his "Are you still on for visiting Suzu's home during the holidays?"

"I briefly think before giving a shrug. Neither of us said anything about the visit being cancelled or otherwise."

mik "I guess so?"

his "Then you're going to need this sorted out by then. Holidays start tomorrow, and Suzu deserves an answer."

mik "I know, I know."

"A deadline would help, now that I think of it. Something to force me into making a decision. I carefully go through the year's events and holidays in my head, soon coming to one that'd be perfect."

mik "Tanabata's soon, right?"

mik "Yeah, I'll have an answer by Tanabata."

his "That sounds good. Should I tell her that?"

mik "Sure. I'd tell her myself, but..."

his "I understand."

"So that's my deadline. Whatever I decide, I need to be careful about how I proceed - Suzu is a fragile person, and moreover, I don't want to lose the only female friend I've ever had."

"She really is a troublesome girl."