"Tapping at the clock a couple of times before I find the button to stop the alarm, I blearily sit myself up in bed and rub my tired eyes." "Bright summer sunshine already pours through the thin blinds, casting a dull light over the already warming room. Giving up on the prospect of going back to sleep, I pull off the sheets and swing my legs over the side of the bed." "My school clothes are... somewhere. All I can do is scratch my head and yawn as I glance around, the most complex matter my brain can handle at the moment being whether to get dressed or go to the toilet first." "The normal morning routine finds itself interrupted by a noise at the door. The question of whether it's someone knocking for me or just someone bumping against it is answered as another set of knocks comes soon after." "Staggering over while asking whoever it is to wait, I feel something soft underfoot. At least I know where my uniform shirt is, now." "Opening the door reveals a most unexpected sight. Suzu stands silently before me, dressed in her usual light summer dress." "This is a weekday... right? I was sure today was Monday, but unless the Yamaku uniform's significantly changed, the girl before me sure isn't dressed for the day ahead. It hardly helps that I'm more inclined to trust her than myself on suich a matter." mik "I'm so confused." suz "Good morning to you, too." mik "Yeah, 'morning." mik "Why are you even here so early? And what's with the clothes?" suz "I want to go out with you." mik "Out... you mean on a date? Don't we have classes?" suz "It's unlike you to worry about skipping a day." "She's not wrong, per se, but that also misses the point. Suzu's always taken school so seriously that her choosing to skip is almost unthinkable." "Then again, I suppose these aren't normal times. A day where we can just forget all the crap going on and spend time together might well be just what we need." "The fact that Suzu showed up at my door already dressed for a day out is less than subtle; she knew that'd be my mindset, and how likely it'd be that I'd accept. It makes me briefly wonder if I'm really the one leading everything between us." "Resigned to my fate, I give a weary smile." mik "I'll get dressed now. Wait outside the gate so the teachers don't see you." # Timeskip "Walking through the shopping centre hand in hand with Suzu, I can't help but notice how few people are milling about. Aside from a few housewives and old people, the place isn't exactly doing a brisk trade. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised, given that most adults are going to be at their workplaces around this time, and teenagers would be in school." "I doubt Suzu is paying attention to the number of people around us, though, with her cheeks slightly rosy as she walks briskly to keep up with me. I might be doing my best to play it off, but this is the first real date I've had as well." suz "What do you want to do first?" "That's a good question. It's probably worth saving my appetite for lunch, and despite clothing store after clothing store, shopping at one doesn't feel like date material. Where's the manual on dating, anyway? I never did get my copy." "As we walk onward, a fancy sign standing next to a bench catches my attention." suz "You want to check out the movie?" mik "I was just thinking how that sign is pretty neat." suz "The sign...?" mik "C'mon, just look at it." "We both do. It seems to be some fancy electronic sign, faintly glowing as it displays some samurai movie advertisement. Not that the movie looks bad, but the way the sign is animated is what gets me, with the text occasionally disappearing and being re-written by fake sword slashes, plus the subtle smoke movements in the background moving around." suz "You sure do like ordinary things." suz "Then again, maybe it is amazing in its own way. Thousands of years of technological development, just to make people buy a product." mik "I was thinking more that you don't see these in the country. We just have plain old posters stuck on train stations." "She looks a little bashful for her flimsy attempt at guessing my mindset. The fact she wants to move the topic on isn't a surprise." suz "So, do you want to check out the movie?" # Timeskip "This is awesome. Nothing beats a good samurai movie." "As we sit in the darkened theatre and watch the big screen, I grin as another fight scene finishes up, the blood flicked off the main character's blade before it's returned to its scabbard. We timed this well; I haven't seen this one before, and there are no annoying kids talking through the movie." "Leaning back and taking a swig of my gigantic drink, I cast a glance to my companion." "It makes me think that maybe taking Suzu to see such a violent movie wasn't such a great idea. Her passive expression might be holding, but only because she's nervously clutching the popcorn bucket to her chest to steady herself." "I really should've picked a chick flick, or at least something a little less violent. Searching for a silver lining, at least this means I have ownership of both the adjacent armrests." "Taking the opportunity as an overly-long pan of some boring scenery starts, I reach beside me to take some popcorn for myself. The only result is my hand grabbing at the air." "She leaned away as I went to take some, the devious little rat." mik "Hey, Suzu?" suz "Yes?" "I lunge over and take a large handful while she's distracted, stuffing the lot into my mouth at once. My chipmunk-like cheeks don't win any favours." # Timeskip "Both of us end up squinting a little as we emerge back into the bright late-morning light of the shopping centre." mik "Man that was great." suz "It sure was... a movie." suz "So you like samurai flicks?" mik "They're the best! You've got the action, you got cool dudes with honour and some great lines, the underdog coming out on top, the valiant sacrifice for the greater good. What's not to like?" suz "Do they have to be so violent?" mik "How can you have a samurai movie without violence? That'd be, like, a historical drama or something." suz "I did like the love interest." mik "Hmm? Oh, right, that cute girl. She was nice." mik "The main dude though was so cool. First you think he's some aimless middle-aged guy, then he becomes someone else completely once he finds his purpose in life." suz "You're not cute at all, are you?" mik "Nope!" "She just looks at me. Did she mean to imply that I should be more feminine? She does like cute things, after all." suz "Want to grab something to eat?" "I initially move to check my watch, but the real reason why she wants to retreat somewhere becomes obvious given the slightly unsteady way she's managing to hold her head up. Was she pushing herself to stay awake during the movie so I wouldn't feel offended?" "Guessing she doesn't want it brought up, I make a show of checking the time in order to feign ignorance." mik "Sure. How about the cafe around there?" "A nod is all the response I need, the two of us setting off." # Timeskip "With lunch eaten and a nap had, we end up aimlesly wandering around for something to do." "As the day's worn on, more and more people have stgarted to show up around the place, including hawkers for tissue packs and flyers. "My feet stop as we almost pass a sports good store, my attention taken by a particular item sitting on a mannequin in the window. Nothing all that unusual for a store to carry, but something that I can't help but notice." "The world feels to drop away as I simply stare. The faceless white mannequin is dressed in full uniform, with boots, socks, pants, undershirt, and jersey. It's even got my number, good ol' fourty-five." "It takes me back. I really do miss those days." suz "Miki, come on." mik "Ah, sure." "I look up one last time to the mannequin, something in me hesitating despite knowing I should just put it out of my mind. What have I achieved since then? Has the year I've been with Suzu just been a temporary peak, like my time playing baseball?" "No matter how I think about it, our relationship can't last. We two so very different people, and once we graduate, we'll end up living such different lives. Just when I thought I had a chance of getting everything together once more, the light at the end of the tunnel starts darkening so quickly." "I'm broken from my thoughts by a girl uselessly tugging at my left arm. It's almost amusing how little she achieves despite pulling with both her hands." suz "We're not here for you to mope around. Come on!" "She tries to walk away with me in tow, doesn't get far." "So that's what this whole thing was about. Suzu was just trying her best to cheer me up after all the fracas we've been through lately, though she'd dare not say it to my face." "I smile a little in spite of myself. Maybe this won't last, maybe it will. What I do know, is that this girl cares for me. That's enough. At least right now, that's all I need to keep going on." # Timeskip "After hitting up about half the stores, mostly just breezing in and out, the two of us settle in for dinner." "While not exactly high-end, given that neither of us could afford such a place, the restaurant's distinctly Italian, or at least pseudo-Italian, styling makes it something a bit different to the norm. At least, that's what it's designed to do." mik "I didn't know you liked pasta." suz "How can anyone not like pasta?" mik "I don't mind the stuff, but you sure wanted to come here when you saw the sign." "Suzu just shrugs as she goes back to reading the menu. She's never been good at feigning disinterest." "My mind starts to wander as I look over the food on offer, the multitude of Italian names meaning little to me. I know spaghetti and lasagne, but the rest are rather lost on me." "By now, the restaurant's at least three-quarters full, the waiters manouvering from table to table with practiced speed. Being the kind of place where tables have two seats and no more, the amount of affectionate chatter and loving glances is almost sickening." "Suzu does her best not to show it, but I can tell she's noticing the lovey-dovey atmosphere just as I am. It annoys me a little that she isn't showing me any affecton despite that, so I decided to take matters into my own hands." mik "Hey, Suzu?" "I quickly lean over the table as she looks up from her menu, pressing my lips to hers just as she's about to speak. I linger for just a moment, taking in those cute, small lips, before withdrawing back to my seat and smiling widely." "Suzu looks ahead of her, mouth just slightly open. She might as well be frozen in stone for all she moves, her face slowly becoming more and more flushed until she's become a bright scarlet. I might have taken things too far, as she looks totally dazed." "The girl's senses finally return to her as she buries her face into her hands, desperately hiding from the outside world." mik "That's what you get for ignoring me." suz "Can't you see we're in public?" mik "So?" "She just keeps her face buried, my eyes beginning to wander to see the public she's so worried about." "I'm used to the occasional sidelong glance from others, but I have a feeling that the looks we're getting from a couple of the others aren't because of my missing hand." "I decide to mess with a woman chancing a badly-hidden peek from under her thick bangs by looking her dead in the eyes. The way she sheepishly turns her head away makes me grin. The question of whether she's looking because she found us cute, curious, or simply offputting comes to mind, but it makes little difference to me." suz "Miki!" "Turning about, it seems my own curiosity has come at the expense of having time to properly select my meal. A waiter, dressed in a rather dapper black and burgundy outfit, stands beside our table while patiently holding his pad and pen ready, Suzu likely already having ordered." mik "Oh, uh, what she's having?" "The waiter gives a curt nod before scrawling the order down without question and heading back towards the kitchen." mik "So... what did I just order?" suz "Twit." mik "I have no idea what any of this stuff is anyway. Maybe I should've just ordered spaghetti after all." suz "Well you're in luck, because that's what I asked for." mik "Really?" suz "No. You'll see when we get it." "I stick out my tongue in response." suz "You could limit your teasing to those you know." mik "I'm just messing around. It's not like I can exactly help that we're the only two girls sharing a table." mik "Maybe if I put my stump up on top, everyone can stare at that instead." suz "I just don't like sticking out." mik "At least you have a choice." mik "Sorry. I guess that came out wrong." suz "This doesn't feel very romantic, does it?" mik "Not at all. Guess I'm not really good with this sort of thing." mik "What about you? It's hard to believe I'm your first partner." suz "I've never had many friends. Offline, at least. What am I going to do, go to a bar and hit on women?" "The image of Suzu trying that is hilarious, sitting on a stool trying to chat up some hot girl next to her in some seedy joint while half-drunk. It doesn't seem to be the reaction she intended for me to have." "More seriously, she does have a point. Introverts sure have it hard, regardless of the fact she's only interested in girls." mik "At least you've got me." suz "For good or ill." suz "Have you... mentioned this? To your father, I mean." mik "Not yet. To be honest, though, I think he'd be more surprised if I came out as straight." "She mamages to eke out a smile, which I count as a small victory. What I say is true though; I often had guys visit my house as friends without any romantic undertones, and got along with them as any other guy would. Not that I didn't like the odd peek at their bodies." "Our conversation enters a lull as we notice the waiter coming up with what we presume to be our dishes, only for him to walk past and serve them to a different table." suz "It's annoying when that happens." mik "I know, right? You get all excited about being able to dig in, only for the chance to fly right by." mik "Thanks for paying for this, by the way." suz "You paid for the movie, so it's only fair." "Unsaid is that the movie cost a lot less than what this meal will. I kind of appreciate Suzu not bringing that up, though." "Once again a waiter begins to walk towards our table, the two of us hoping against hope that this is out food. Our wishes turn out to be true, with the waiter politely setting down our plates and drinks before bidding us to have a good meal." "The pasta sure looks nice, whatever it's called. Shaped like little bow-ties, it's covered in a thick layer of steaming sauce and parmesan cheese. I'm salivating just from looking at it." suz "It's farfalle, if you're wondering." mik "Delicious is what it is. Less talk, more eat." "I quickly dig in, fork in hand. Managing to burn my tongue with my eageerness, I end up taking a swig of my drink to try and soothe the pain before carefully blowing on the next mouthful." "It really is nice. The sauce is delightfully rich, and the pasta's well-cooked. Not too dry, but not too soggy. The smell makes the taste all the better, making me savour the somewhat small portion as best I can." "Seated across from me, Suzu carefully nibbles at her own meal. She looks a bit like a chipmunk, almost seeming to graze given how little she puts into her mouth each time. At least she'll make the food last as long as it possibly could, I suppose." mik "Good?" suz "Yeah." "A girl of few words, and even fewer when eating." "I move to speak, but pause as I realise that her usual quiet nature and slow eating aren't what's at play. All of her movements are terribly slow, and what I'd taken as her simply looking at her food now appears to be an attempt to hide the effort she's putting in to do eve that much." "It's been a long day for the both of us, and now that I think of it, a single short nap at lunch probably wouldn't be enough for her. We've been at this since the very beginning of the day, after all." "I don't want to remind her of it, but it's a little painful to see her barely even chewing her food from tiredness. The sheer concentration she's using to accomplish even the most mundane tasks would be using up even more of what little energy she has left." mik "Suzu. Suzu...!" "Failing to get her attention, I put my fork down and give her shoulder a mild shake." "Suzu's face could only be described as one of defeat. She knows she lost this fight without a word needing to be said." mik "It's okay." "The last of her resistance breaks, head falling down and twisting sideways onto her arm. Her mostly-eaten meal sits beside her." "Resting my chin on my hand, I idly look at her sleeping face. It really does seem like these are the only times I ever get to see Suzu with her guard down." "Time wears on as one couple leaves, and then another. We've outlasted everyone who was here before us by now, and after absentmindedly sipping at my drink for want of something to do, my third glass is almost empty." "Try as I might, it's getting hard to deny that she's going to be out for a good while. I don't seem to have much of a choice, here." "Suzu's probably been pushing herself to stay awake as long as she probably could, and now she's paying the price. I doubt she'll be happy with me cutting things short for her sake, but for all I know, she could be out for hours." "Accepting my fate and considering the day's fun over, I motion to a passing waiter and ask for the bill." # Timeskip "I wonder how many times I've made my way up this hill with a slumbering girl on my back." "Not that I mind doing so. Being useful to someone is something I've always needed, and it's good exercise in any case. Then there's the view." "Shining through the darkness of the night, the street lamps and resident's lit windows shine up from the town below. People, hundreds of them, reduced to so many pinpricks of light in the black expanse. All those lives, reduced to little more than lonely splotches." "It's made all the more poetic by the total lack of life around the two of us. All that's to be heard is the occasional rustle of gravel underfoot at the side of the road." mik "It's pretty, isn't it, Suzu?" "No answer. I can't say it's a surprise." "The air is nice and cool compared to the day's heat. It's calming." "My enjoyment of the night's stroll is disrupted as I become aware of my shoulder becoming wet. She's started to drool on me now? Not cool." "The resigned smile on my face soon drops, however, as a quiet whimper comes from Suzu. The dead silence around us makes the sound impossible to mistake." "I try to think of a time when Suzu's teared-up before, but it's hard. Aside from the time I first met her, and once or twice when she's hurt herself, she's never been much for crying." "There's nothing I could say to help- the situation, so I end up keeping my mouth shut. It would suck to try so hard to make this a great day, only to have it stolen from you at the last moment." suz "I'm sorry. It's always like this." mik "Come on, that's my line." mik "I had fun today, Suzu. It's been the best day in a damn long while, actually." "Suzu's sobbing stops, but only because she's pushed her face into my shoulder to try and steady herself." mik "I should be the one apologising. I've always been a brute, after all. I'm selfish, a total simpleton, stupid, and I manage to make a total mess of everything all the time." mik "Compared to me, you come out pretty good." "Silence returns as I continue to trudge up the hill. I come so very close to asking the one question I want an answer to, but also the one that would likely mean the end of us being together if I asked it." "I wish I could say that I'm trying to keep us together for the sake of Suzu's happiness, but I know I'd be lying to myself. I need her. I needed her ever since that fateful day those years go, and if I lost her, I don't know what I'd do." "It's Suzu who breaks the silence, giving four whispered words." suz "Thank you. For everything." mik "You're welcome."